In most cases, what the child is rejecting is not English itself
but their current experience of learning English.
The moment English comes up, the child's face stiffens; when the workbook is opened, they squirm; and every morning they have English academy, an argument breaks out. By this point, you may wonder, "Maybe English just isn't right for my child," but few elementary school children dislike the English language itself. What children usually dislike is not English, but the experiences they have had with it: repeated failures on questions beyond their level, time spent sitting against their will, and criticism every time they made a mistake. These experiences have accumulated under the label of "English."
First, there is a mismatch in difficulty. If children experience small failures every day with materials or in a class above their level, they conclude on their own, "I'm a child who is bad at English." No child likes a subject they believe they are bad at. Second, there is pressure and comparison. Having their reluctance ignored every time and being compared with siblings or friends turns English from an academic issue into an emotional one. Third, there is the repetition of uninteresting methods. Learning that consists only of the same types of exercises and vocabulary memorization is demanding even for adults. These three causes often overlap, and the starting point for recovery depends on which is the most significant.
No child likes a subject
they believe they are bad at.
The order matters. Increasing the workload or presenting new materials without removing the cause is like applying the same irritation to a wound. If the difficulty was the problem, you need to move down one or two levels from where the child is now. If pressure was the problem, you need to give the child back some control over their learning for a while. If the method was the problem, you need to find a route other than workbooks. A remedy prescribed without identifying what pushed the child away usually deepens their resistance.
During recovery, the goal is not progress through the curriculum but the feeling of "I can do this?" It is best to start again at a level where the child can comfortably get everything right, even if it seems trivial to an adult. As the experience of easily completing simple tasks each day builds up, the feeling of "I can do this too" returns. Then the difficulty can be raised one step at a time. If you make the child persist at the same level out of concern that they will fall behind, their resistance often only deepens.
For a child who likes dinosaurs, an English book featuring dinosaurs can be a route in; for a child who likes soccer, it can be a video about soccer. The moment English becomes a way to enjoy something they like rather than the goal itself, the child looks into it out of curiosity, not because they were told to. It may seem like a small amount of learning, but few methods are as effective at washing away the negative feelings attached to English.
| Situation | Response That Makes Things Worse | Response That Promotes Recovery |
|---|---|---|
| When the child makes a mistake | Point it out and correct it immediately | First acknowledge what they successfully communicated |
| When the child says they do not want to study | Increase the workload and study time to pressure them | Ask why and reduce the workload |
| When the child seems behind their peers | Compare them with other children | Compare the child with who they were last month |
| When they are not progressing through the curriculum | Immediately switch materials and academies | First check whether the difficulty is appropriate |
| When the child does well | Praise only the score and result | Identify and praise the effort they made |
Following the right order is essential
First determine which of the three—difficulty, pressure, or method—pushed the child away. Remedies that add something while leaving the cause in place often reinforce the resistance.
A level that seems trivial to an adult is the starting point for recovery. Only after experiences of getting everything right and finishing easily build up will the child feel willing to try again.
The child's interests are the learning materials. Dinosaurs, soccer, drawing, crafts. English encountered through subjects they like does not feel like studying to the child.
Stop criticizing and comparing, and respond by recognizing small attempts. Children learn how to feel about English from their parents' expressions.
These are responses that are easy to fall into when you are worried
The more you worry about the child's ability, the more you may want to send them to one more academy and buy one more workbook. But when a child already dislikes English, increasing the total workload only gives them more reasons to resist it. During recovery, reducing is increasing.
Comments such as "You don't even know this?" and "I heard the child next door can already do this" do more than ruin that moment of learning. They cause the child to remember English and their parents together as a single source of stress. On days when emotions run high, it is better to stop studying for the day.
If you repeatedly switch from worksheets to a tablet and from a tablet to an academy within a few weeks, the child leaves each method before having a chance to become attached to it. Even when a change is necessary, diagnosing the cause comes first, and after making the change, it is best to allow time for it to settle.
For how to identify a mismatch in difficulty, see the article on level tests, and for ways to learn together at home without pressure, see the article on parent-led English learning.